Wednesday, 22 April 2009

Memory, dont take it for granted.

Some years ago I was classed as insane, or as good as, I had had an accident which bruised the front of my brain and scrambled loads of memory. It took a long time for some of those memories to reappear, just recently I have had a flood of confused memories triggered, they are so jumbled up I do not know what is real and what is either fantasy or a combination of memories that have got mixed up. I still have virutally no recollection of most of my childhood, when people say things like "I remember it like it was yesterday" I cant even imagine how they see such a clear vision. To me anything before 1988 is wrapped in guaze, my memories are like looking through a swirling fog, now and then you get a fleeting glimpse of something, sometimes it triggers a better memory, mostly it just leaves me with a feeling of being completely lost. A good exapmle of this is when riding my bike, if I pick my route before I leave and just automatically follow the route, then just concentrate on riding, I get there with no problem, but sometimes, not always, if I have to change the route, because of roadwrks or an accident or maybe just stopping at lights and getting distracted, I can get very confused. It does not happen often, it happened this morning, riding up to Alexandra Palace I stopped at some lights and when they changed I had no idea where I was or where I was going. I had to pull over and just think about for a minute, I was completely disoriented and that can be quite scary. It normally sorts itself out very quickly
though and I'm back to normal (of course with me 'normal' is a very relative term)

When I was still under the doctor, he recommended I get loads of photos from my past to help bolster the memory system, turns out there are very few pictures of me in the early days, not really sure why, I did knock about with a crowd who didnt like having their pictures taken though.
Two or three years ago I met a bloke from my past, apparently we were good mates for about 6 years, I sat with him and chatted and it was like talking to a stranger, I still have no memory of him and have never gone back to see him.

So treasure your memories, you wont miss them until they are not there.


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