Friday, 11 February 2011

The very secret life of Dan Jerrous, stunt man and womaniser.

"I was born in the wagon of a travelling show" That is Dan's answer when questioned about his origins, Dan Jerrous is very secretive about his past, very little is known about him. We have more information about the Stig than him. Dan is the greatest failure ever, only one of his numerous stunts has ever been successful, we know of at least 50 stunts, including film stunts, that he has attempted and aside from the ones for the film 'Boots of Doom' nothing has gone right for him.
'Boots of doom' was the only film he ever finished for a company, unfortunately the film board refused to issue a certificate for this film, they claimed the stunts were so extreme that if anyone tried to copy them they would be killed. Even the company that financed the film refuses to have their name associated with it, we were threatened that if we even mentioned their name in conjunction with this, they would [quote] Sue our arses off[unquote].

We have no idea how old he is, estimates range from 35 to 55, as we have never seen his face; it is difficult to gauge just how old he actually is, we do know he first came to notice for his motorcycle stunts, turning up at motorbike events and really just showing off; in the late 70's, riding his bike, pulling wheelies, jumping over things and then normally falling off before disappearing. For the one thing we do know about him is that almost every one of his stunts has ended in failure!
The most spectacular being the failed cow jump in France in 1998, more about that later.
He is the Eddie the eagle of the motorcycle world.

There are rumours that Dan may have been two people though, there is a persistent rumour that he died in the same car as Princess Di and it was covered up.
Guesses as to who he was are numerous, most think he was a bastard son of a royal personage, which is why he never uncovered his face, others think he was just a chancer who could talk his way into anything, which could be true, he managed to talk a lot of famous people, nearly all women, into financing some spectacular stunts, all of which failed. Yet they kept pouring money into his projects.
There are a number of very famous women, who are believed to have had 'liaisons' with Dan, obviously a few actresses, but a number of other names kept popping up in our research, women from politics and certain royal families. We all know about the rumours concerning Dan, a certain DJ called David De Vynel, the daughter of the president of Patagonia, two nuns and a donkey. This story was covered by a national newspaper and then completely debunked by all concerned.

So just who is Dan Jerrous and what do we actually know about him?We know very little from his facebook page except that he seems to be incarcerated on a regular basis, due to his secretive nature it is suspected that he may either be someone quite famous or related to a royal family member, possibly a cousin of Prince Charles. One rumour hints that he may be the illegitimate son of the Prince of Monaco. Too many rumours and not enough fact, this is not unusual where Dan is concerned.

Whereever Dan Jerrous is talked about, myths abound, he was involved, albeit briefly, with a character called Pyro, we found this very suspicious, because dates where Dan was 'performing' coincide with dates of various pier fires, we know he was in Hastings in early October 2010, also he was on Brighton beach in March 2003 for a photo shoot, there is supposedly some film of Dan practising a stunt on a beach on the Isle of Wight. In the background of this piece of film can be seen Totland Bay Pier clearly on fire at the time. If any one has a copy of this film, we would like to see it to confirm this or maybe you know of other instances where Dan was nearby when fire broke out?

The great cow jump stunt in 1998 was another in a long line of spectacular failures, this one was infamous because it kicked off a massive row with the Animal liberation front, RSPCA and various other animal rights organisations.
Never one to dodge controversy, Dan's manager James Dayton has always been blamed for the rumour that Dan did the motorcycle riding for 'Long way round' this vicious and unfounded rumour has caused much consternation, Ewan Mcgregor and Charley Boorman definitely did the trip themselves, it is true Dan can be seen in the background of a certain piece of footage, but that's because we have discovered that they were filming the sequel to "Boots of doom!" in the same place. This was totally illegal and without the permission of the ruling government, it is believed the rumour about Dan being in 'Long way round' was started to cover the real reason they were there.

There are also many rumours concerning Dan's affiliation with G.O.D.S (Grand order of Divine Squid) this is a very secret organisation; who's members have a very odd way of greeting each other. Less is known about G.O.D.S than about the Freemasons or Rosicrucian's. On trying to find out more about them, I found myself on the receiving end of some very dire threats.

Dan has been associated with many famous women, Princess Di's name has cropped up on occasion as has Julia Roberts, Gloria Huniford and more recently Katy Perry, before she met 'that' twat.
Julia denied ever knowing Dan, but we know he was a friend of Hugh Grant at the time of the Notting hill film, as he was consulted on the more extreme stunts in that film. (Which were later dropped as not being relevant to the story line)

Dan has led a very exciting but secretive life, we are trying to document this, so if you know Dan or have had any dealings with him, maybe you were one of the many women who had an affair with him, then we would like to hear from you. In particular we would love to hear from Dan himself, James Dayton, Eddie Izzard (Yes we do know about 'that' incident Eddie) Gloria Huniford, Quentin Tarrantino, Julia Roberts, Princess Marina, Edwina Curry (We know about that one too), Kate Moss, Matt Damon (Dan was rumoured to have been the first chopice for the Bourne series), Katy Perry and Alan Carr*

*Nothing to do with Dan really, I want his address so we can send the boys round and get rid of him.

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