Friday, 5 February 2010

Who am I? An adoption search.

There are several threads on a forum I frequent about my adoption, I have decided to post it all on here as well.

So lets bring you all up to date on what I am doing and why I am posting this in the open.

My brother and myself are both adopted, we have always known this, I have never been interested in finding out about my history or family. I have never really been that family orientated, then a couple of years ago two things happened, first my daughter got in contact after 27 years and that started off a lot of thoughts in my head, then my brothers mother got in contact with him, only to die 8 months later. My brother found he had 7 half brothers and sisters and a myriad of relatives.

So I decided to do a little investigating to find out who I am and where I come from, it turns out, that my (adoptive) mother had put a block on any contact from our birth parents, which they could do in the 50's. It was only after her death that a letter was allowed to go to my brother from his original mother, with a bit of not very difficult detective work and a little help from a certain wonderfully resourceful person on, it looks like my mother and possibly my father are still alive, there are also possibly four siblings, not half ones, around as well.

At this point I stopped and decided to go through the proper channels, it would not be fair for me to just turn up (oh I have tracked them down and know where they all live) they might (though I doubt it, I have been very careful) be the wrong people.
On the 18th of this month I have my first meeting with the adoption counselors, I shall let you all know the result of this.

Now, why am I posting what is essentially a 'private' affair?
Because there is still this stigma attached to adoption, I have spoken to and had emails from a lot of people since starting this, most start by saying 'dont tell anyone but I was adopted.....etc' I find this so sad, why should there be a stigma? It is not our fault, I think there are a lot of people out there who would like to track down their birth parents, but are a little afraid/unsure about the process, so I hope that this thread will help them or at least help them decide what to do.

If any case your first step should be to contact your local adoption counselor, you can find them through google or ask at your council offices/doctors.

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